Vimes prodded a short, illustrated article on page four, his finger stabbing at the page.
“See that?” he growled. “That pea-brained idiot at the Post Office has gone and issued a Koom Valley stamp!”
The dwarf looked nervously at the article. “Er… two stamps, sir,” she said.
– Moist No | Terry Pratchett, Thud!
You can just picture him, dodging the Silicon Anti-Defamation League and the Campaign for Equal Heights for weeks, until he finally lets them corner him in his office… at the same time.
THE ANKH-MORPORK TIMES
The Truth Shall Make Ye Flee
What began as a rumpus turned quickly into a fracas at the Ankh-Morpork post office early this morning as the heads of the Silicon Anti-Defamation League and the Campaign for Equal Heights tried to meet with Postmaster Moist von Lipwig at the same time. Members of the CEH arrived in the office, intending to discuss the postmaster’s recently released series of Koom Valley stamps. They were joined shortly by members of the SADL, who intended to have a similar conversation.
Any potential discussion was thwarted when, upon encountering each other in the hallway outside the office, members of both associations exclaimed that the other had been attempting an ambush.
The ensuing fracas encompassed most of the upper floor of the Post Office, in some places spilling out onto the staircases, before the Watch was able to restore order. Though no deaths have been reported, several individuals were brought to the Lady Sybil Free Hospital with light to moderate injuries and inflamed tempers.
Commander Vimes of the Watch has assured the public that order has been restored. As he told the Times, “this was just a bunch of damn fools playing at war because the bloody Postmaster thinks it’s funny to spray oil on a house fire, and don’t put that in the paper.”
Mr. Lipwig could not be reached for comment, as he apparently had several urgent matters to attend to and had not, in fact, ever been in his office in the first place.
Bystander reports of a man clambering down the drainpipe outside, apparently laughing loudly to himself, appear to be unrelated.