Category: terry pratchett quotes

Regular

“Ye mustn’t be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Shepherds Crown

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“Witches know that people die; and if they manages to die after a long time, leavin’ the world better than they went an’ found it, well then, that’s surely a reason to be happy. All the rest of it is just tidyin’ up.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Shepherds Crown

Regular

“Tiffany thought of the little spot in the woods where Granny Weatherwax lay. Remembered.  And knew that You had been right. Granny Weatherwax was indeed here. And there. She was, in fact, and always would be, everywhere.

– Terry Pratchett – The Shepherds Crown

Regular

“He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination—but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

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“Well, he thought, so this is diplomacy. It’s like lying, only to a better class of people.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

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“What would be the point of cyphering messages that very clever enemies couldn’t break? You’d end up not knowing what they thought you thought they were thinking …”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

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“No one knows how to do officering, Fred. That’s why they’re officers. If they knew anything, they’d be sergeants.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

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“Vimes hated and despised the privileges of rank, but they had this to be said for them: at least they meant that you could hate and despise them in comfort.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

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“He always suspected the poetic description of Time like an ever-rolling stream. Time, in his experience, moved more like rocks … sliding, pressing, building up force underground and then, with one jerk that shakes the crockery, a whole field of turnips mysteriously slips sideways by six feet.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

Regular

“Across the street, a clown picked up a ladder, turned, knocked the clown behind him into a bucket of water, then turned again to see what the commotion was, thus sending his rising victim into the bucket again with a surprising parping noise. The crowd watched silently. If it were funny, clowns wouldn’t be doing it.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant