Category: sam vimes


“He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination—but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant


“Vimes hated and despised the privileges of rank, but they had this to be said for them: at least they meant that you could hate and despise them in comfort.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant


“He always suspected the poetic description of Time like an ever-rolling stream. Time, in his experience, moved more like rocks … sliding, pressing, building up force underground and then, with one jerk that shakes the crockery, a whole field of turnips mysteriously slips sideways by six feet.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant


“Vimes was hazy on rural issues, but weren’t there supposed to be charcoal burners, woodcutters, and … he tried to think … little girls taking goodies to granny? The stories Vimes had learned as a kid suggested that all forests were full of bustle, activity, and the occasional scream. But this place was silent.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant


“He ached all over. It wasn’t just that his brain was writing checks that his body couldn’t cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn’t got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant


“It was, he felt, a persistent flaw in his wife’s otherwise practical and sensible character that she believed, against all evidence, that he was a man of many talents.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

sator-the-wanderess: C’mon Vimes!


C’mon Vimes!

(Thank you @kociepierogi 😁 have a great day too!)

t-i-g-g-s: It’s ya boy, Vimesy


It’s ya boy, Vimesy

tirairgid: “’But it – she’s a magical animal…


“’But it – she’s a magical animal,’ said Vimes. ‘What’ll happen when the magic goes away?’
Lady Ramkin gave him a shy smile.
‘Most people seem to manage,’ she said.”
― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!   
Sam Vimes and Lady Sybil – Illustraton by s-u-w-i

leona-florianova: “We would have won, you k…


“We would have won, you know,” growled Rust. “We would have won! But we were betrayed
on the brink of success!”

 Vimes stared at him. 

“And it’s your fault, Vimes! We’ll be the laughingstock of Klatch! You know the value these
people put on face, and we won’t have any! Vetinari is finished! And so are you! And so is your
stupid, mongrel, cowardly Watch! What do you say to that, Vimes? Eh?”

 The watchmen sat like statues, waiting for Vimes to say something. Or even move.
“Eh? Vimes?”
Rust sniffed. “What’s that smell?”

Vimes slowly shifted his gaze to his fingers. Smoke was rising. There was a faint sizzling.
He stood up and brought his fingers up in front of Rust’s face.
“Take it,” he said.

 “That’s…just some trick…” 

“Take it,” said Vimes.
Mesmerized, Rust licked his fingers and gingerly took the ember. “It doesn’t hurt—”

 “Yes, it does,” said Vimes.

 “In fact it—Aargh!”
Rust jumped back, dropped the ember and sucked his blistered fingers. 

“The trick is not to mind that it hurts,” said Vimes. “Now go away.” 

– Terry Pratchett, Discworld, Jingo

That was very Lawrence of Arabia thing to do from Vimes and its one of my favorite scenes from the book.. especially what then followed