Category: humour

Regular

“You could fish in the River Ankh, provided you took care not to catch anything.  In fact it was amazing what you could catch by just letting one drop of the Ankh pass you lips.”

– Terry Pratchett – Snuff

Regular

“Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying:‘Learn, guys.’”

– Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying:‘Learn, guys.’”

– Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“Loyalty was a great thing, but no lieutenants should be forced to choose between their leader and a circus with elephants.”

– Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“She was leaning against the doorframe, like an attractive yawn on legs.”

– Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“Sometimes human beings are very much like bees. Bees are fiercely protective of their hive, provided you are outside it. Once you’re in, the workers sort of assume that it must have been cleared by management and take no notice.”

– Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“Courting  is always difficult when the one being courted has an elderly female relative in the house; they tend to mutter or cackle or bum cigarettes or, in the worst cases, get out the family photograph album, an act of aggression in the sex war which ought to be banned by the Geneva Convention.”

Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“It’d be a funny old world, he reflected, if demons went around trusting one another.”

– Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman – Good Omens

Regular

“People who would not believe a High Priest if he said the sky was blue, and was able to produce signed affidavits to this effect from his white-haired old mother and three Vestal virgins, would trust just about anything whispered darkly behind their hand by a complete stranger in a pub.”

– Terry Pratchett – Masquerade

Regular

“He was up against a mind that regarded truth as a reference point but certainly not as a shackle. Nanny Ogg could think her way through a corkscrew in a tornado without touching the sides.”

– Terry Pratchett – Madquerade