Category: humour

Regular

“Got to write a book, see, to prove you’re a philosopher. Then you get your scroll and free official philosopher’s loofah.”

– Terry Pratchett – Small Gids

Regular

“The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives, and falling rocks. There isn’t just one guide through it. There are six, and each one knows his way through one-sixth of the labyrinth. Every year they have a special competition, when they do a little redesigning. They vie with one another to see who can make his section even more deadly than the others to the casual wanderer. There’s a panel of judges and a small prize.

The furthest anyone ever got through the labyrinth without a guide was nineteen paces. Well, more or less. His head rolled a further seven paces, but that probably doesn’t count.”

– Terry Pratchett – Small Gods

Regular

“You couldn’t put off the inevitable. Because sooner or later, you reached the place when the inevitable just went and waited.”

– Terry Pratchett – Small Gods

Regular

“You Don’t Have To Be Pitilessly Sadistic To Work Here But It Helps!”

– Terry Pratchett – Small Gods

Regular

“Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way of attacking Ethics, you can bet your sandals it’s all because dozens of other poor buggers are doing all the real work around the place.”

Regular

“It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of unnecessary gray goo if its only real purpose was, for example, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys.”

– Terry Pratchett – Small Gods

Regular

“The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.”

– Terry Pratchett – Small Gods

Regular

“He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination—but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

Regular

“What would be the point of cyphering messages that very clever enemies couldn’t break? You’d end up not knowing what they thought you thought they were thinking …”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant

Regular

“No one knows how to do officering, Fred. That’s why they’re officers. If they knew anything, they’d be sergeants.”

– Terry Pratchett – The Fifth Elephant