“I was referring, Vimes, to the speed with which both parties managed to incapacitate themselves with strong liquor at the same time…?”
“I wouldn’t know anything about that, sir.” That was an automatic reaction; it made life simpler.
“No? It appears, Vimes, that while steeling themselves for the fracas to come, both the trolls and the dwarfs came into possession of what I assume they thought was beer…?”
“They had been on the pi–been drinking all day, sir,” Vimes pointed out.
“Indeed, Vimes, andp ossibly that is why the dwarf contingent were less than cautious in drinking copiously from beer that has been considerably… fortified? Areas of Sator Square, I gather, still smell faintly of apples, Vimes. One could come to believe, therefore, that what they were drinking was, in fact, a mixture of strong beer and scumble, which is, as you know, distilled from apples–”
“Uh, mostly apples, sir,” said Vimes helpfully.
“Quite. The cocktail is known as Fluff, I believe. As to the trolls, one might speculate that it would be very hard to find anything to make their beer even more dangerous than it palpably is, but I wonder if you have heard, Vimes, that an admixture of various metallic salts produces a drink known as luglarr, or ‘Big Hammer’?”
“Can’t say I do, sir.”
– Vimes has no idea how the fight was avoided |
Terry Pratchett, Thud!